Everyone has their own dating style, it may vary from their standards set for their partner, the duration they’ve decided to stay in that relationship, or believing that the first is their last. It is as normal as breathing that people naturally has “myths” about certain things; and it does not excuse those “premonitions” they have when dating.
So are these hunches really holy grails? Or those prickly thorns you’ll be regretting when you’d end up saying – “letting it all slip through my fingers; the best I’ve never had”. Let’s smoothly flow into this list and see if you’ve been obsessed with any of these Dating killer hunches.
“I Know What I Want” Radar
You are an obsessed organized freak, you know what your partner should be, you have planned the first date, you already set the standard of romanticism you’ll be feeling during the date, scripts of conversations are pre-planned on your mind, you have it all planned from the moment he fetched you up to the last second of you together when he brought you home; and if one thing didn’t go as you planned, it all goes down the drain.
Knowing what you want is a good thing, but going overboard takes out the fun in dating. Dating should be tricky, fun, and adventurous; being too organized and fixed about it takes the juice away making those dates blunt and boring (except if you’re that type). You kept a long list of rules and then at the end of every unsuccessful date you kept on wondering why it didn’t work out, the answer there is; you were too busy being keen on checking your list that you missed out all the good things you should have enjoyed during the date. Try leaving that list at home once in awhile and see the difference, if going with the flow doesn’t work well for you, then take out the list again and hope that you’ll meet someone who has the same items on the list like you do – got my fingers crossed for you.
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The First Is As Important As The First
The First-ist. You could already tell whether that person is a “Yay!” or “Nah” just by the first glance, you measure his humor by the first few phrases thrown, and you could already tell if you’ll work out or not just by the first few seconds you’ve been together. You have that senses so well sharpened that you base everything by your first impression. You are quick on making judgments without giving the person a chance to prove himself, and you are also busy making yourself give out a best first impression; worrying about what to wear or how to act, you put too much pressure on yourself willing to pretend to be someone you’re not. Basing things on your preference, you expect that the person you’ll be dating is also a first-ist, so with all your being, you make sure that it’s going to be a first impression worth remembering.
The downside of being a first-ist is you missed out all the possibilities because you base the whole relationship on the few moments shared, it’s like watching a movie without even waiting for the climax, you just needed to see the opening credits and that’s it- the movie is done. Dating should take time; first impressions are good basis but not enough to be the source of the final decision.
Virtual Lovey Dovey
As the world gets modernized people expect that everything will follow; but in dating? Not necessarily. People nowadays are too future-forward that they fish dates online; they welcome themselves into billions of choices and hope to find the right one. The online world are packed with innovations that could change the reality into something better, you could look like a million dollar or say you have the sexiest accent when you actually don’t; people could be anybody they wanted – and you could be fed with lies when dating online. There are ones who thought that online dating is way more better than actually meeting the person first, they say, it is better for them to know each other first before actually deciding if it is worth the “meet”. Is it really? Or are you just afraid because you are being dictated by your insecurities? Another sad thing about online dating is sometimes you get disappointed, because both of you thought you’re going to be “compatible”, then when you met, not even a single spark ignited.
One thing people failed to realize is that dating should be the means of finding that someone who would accept you, who would throw your insecurities away or help you get through it all. Though love does not care where you met, and it is okay to date online, just give dating “personally” a shot, you’ll never know someone out there would actually fantasize your freckled face or find your giant mole a sexy asset.
The Troubled Lover
You gave a shot on a date, everything went so well, both of you liked each other, gave another shot for another date, going forward and everything seems so great, then… you sucked it all out and stop giving it a chance. It’s those moments when you are in a cloud nine then suddenly reality hit you bigtime and flashbacks appear and then everything about all the other things on your life just swipe those clouds away; obligations, schedule, personal insecurities, and other rants you have inside of your head. You feel happy about the relationship but there’s that evil sound on your head that kept mumbling “is it all worth it? Wouldn’t it be a waste of time? Am I worth it? Is he worth it? I am not ready for this” and then you fell off that cloud nine and back to reality.
You prioritize the reality than that beating you are feeling, you love that person but you are not yet there – the truth is you are afraid and that makes you never ready. Love for you is a feeling that you should be prepared of, that your priorities should come first and that love is never one of those. Yes you love that feeling of floating in the air, that feeling that takes your breath away, those mini heart attacks; but then at the end of it all – Love for you is only a fiction, and you definitely know you live in reality. Dating for you is an experience, just that.
Candy Coated Bitterness
You just broke up with your longtime partner; you then see dating as the perfect escape. You have this hunch that finding a new lover would cure your broken heart – but the truth is, it won’t. Dating as a rebound could be the both sides of the coin, the success, or your downfall. It could work for some, just be careful, dating is tricky; just don’t end up getting broken twice straight in a row.
When you enter dating with scorned heart, it would feel like singing in front of a crowd with severe tonsillitis, you know you are in pain but you think you can make it work, that you could get over the pain and conquer; but it’s actually not that easy, so you end up the one disappointed and more hurt, and not to disregard the person you’ll be hurting if you push through to your plan. Dating might take those blues away, but no pass time could fool a broken heart – move on and leave the past in the past before you enter a new relationship, then maybe you’ll be more dateable.